Venmo: an app? Or a lifesaver?

Wow, where would I be without this wonderful application. Typically, I spend my sundays drinking Long Island ice teas and watching the Colbert report. Now, I’ve got a life destined for fame and the big screen. Hollywood is now my dojo. I’m not only an entertainer, but I inspire everyone around me. Thank you Venmo, for my life.

dale earnhartt about Venmo, v7.14.3